You didn't even say goodbye
by Forwhateveritsworth
Summary: Emotions run high as Deeks starts to get frustrated with Kensi's constant sidestepping whenever he tries to discuss their 'thing'. Set after S5E9 when Deeks and Kensi leave the restaurant, rated M for the last chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Set the day after S5E9 when Kensi and Deeks left the restaurant together. Mentions a random, made up prostitute and doesn't really follow canon much. Rated M, my friends!**

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"What's going on here?" asked Callen as he walked into the bullpen. Deeks and Kensi were both sat at their desks, staring intently at the stacks of paper in front of them.

"Nothing." Deeks replied gloomily, not diverting his gaze from the piles of paper on his desk.

"We're fine" said Kensi flatly, reshuffling her papers as she braved eye contact with Callen.

"Uh-huh." said Callen, thoroughly unconvinced. "You know, considering you're both undercover agents - a job where your lives literally depend upon you being good at lying - you're both really bad at it."

Deeks scoffed and finally looked up at Callen. "Nothing's wrong, we're fine, you're reading into things again, Callen. Kensi and I are just fine...and I'll have you know I am an excellent undercover agent."

Callen smirked, pleased that he managed to get a small rise out of his friend - Deeks always took the bait. "Right, of course you are. Why are you both here so early anyway?" he asked curiously, looking between Deeks and Kensi. The atmosphere in the bullpen was tense, you could cut it with a knife and these two were still pretending that it didn't exist. Walking into the middle of Deeks and Kensi when they'd had a tiff wasn't his idea of fun. Sam and Callen often joked that these two were always in the middle of a 'lover's tiff', despite them having a completely platonic relationship - as far as the team were aware of anyway. The boys suspected there was more at play behind closed doors, but he respected their privacy - for now.

"The same as you - I'm here to catch the bad guys, charm the hot chicks and save the world!" grinned Deeks, somewhat forcing his usual juvenile 'joker' role. "Kensi's probably here to go all ninja on some poor unsuspecting soul and then save the world by my side as my smoking hot sidekick."

"Oh no. I am _not_ your sidekick, Deeks!" Kensi was already irate and this latest comment about their partnership had sent her over the edge. Even though she knew he was just trying to deflect the attention away from them, she felt the need to put Deeks firmly back in his place. "I am no one's sidekick." she reaffirmed. "And I think you'll find the last 'hot chick' you picked up was a prostitute. I'm sure she found you really charming while you were interrogating her in the boat shed."

Standing abruptly, she stormed past Callen and Deeks, shooting a vicious death glare in Deeks' direction. It wasn't the first time that Deeks was grateful for the fact that those looks didn't actually kill, otherwise he'd have died a thousand times over by now. The two agents were left standing in the bullpen awkwardly, neither entirely sure what to do or where to look. Callen opened his mouth to speak but he was saved by the bell. Someone had actually given Eric a blooming bell, of all things - and in his best Medieval English accent, he announced that they had a new case up in Ops.

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**A/N: The next chapters are longer!**


	2. Chapter 2

"You just left me - and you didn't even say goodbye!" Deeks exclaimed from the passenger seat of their car.

"I didn't _leave you, _it was your apartment, I just left said apartment. You were asleep." Kensi countered, trying to control the anger in her voice.

"Yeah, I was asleep because you _left me _in the middle of the night! We finally get somewhere with this _thing _of ours and then you take off in the middle of the night, leaving me to wake up on my own with no note and no goodbye!" Deeks was clearly upset by Kensi's actions and the hurt in his voice made her stomach churn. Why exactly had she got up and left in the middle of the night? After years of being coy, Deeks had finally said exactly what he meant - he wanted to be at his home, with her - not at a fancy dinner or eating tacos. They'd gone back to his and she was so certain of what she had wanted. She couldn't fault him last night at all, he'd been the perfect gentleman and she'd reassured him several times that she wanted him and that she'd wanted _this_.

So why had she left in the early hours of the morning, dashed home with enough time to shower and eat before driving into work for an early start?

"It's complicated, Deeks. You know that." sighed Kensi finally, shifting slightly under his steady gaze.

Deeks let out a big sigh and shook his head from side to side. "You're unbelievable Kens. You complain for years that I don't say what I mean and when I do finally lay my heart out on line and tell you what I want, we end up having sex and now - now you won't even look at me! What do you want from me, Kensi? What do you want? I need to know because I can't keep doing this."

He trailed off and sighed, burying his face in his hands to hide the pain and the pin pricks of tears that were threatening to spill. He was so angry and his mind was full of conflict. On the one hand, he was undeniably, irretrievably head over heels in love with his partner. He was so emotionally invested in her that the thought of being separated from her seemed utterly unbearable. But on the other hand, this game they were playing was tearing him apart and waking up in an empty bed this morning felt like they'd taken one step forward and three steps back.

"Deeks, I…" Kensi trailed off as she picked up the camera and started snapping photos. The suspect they were meant to be keeping tabs on was on the move. "We can talk about this later, okay? I'll meet you at yours tonight. Right now, let's see where this guy's going."

Deeks took the camera from her and nodded in agreement. Heartache aside, they had a job to do - the bad guy's don't catch themselves. Besides, he was grateful to have the chance to compose himself again. Kensi was a stone cold fox, but when he was around her she seemed to bring all his emotions up to the surface. It was hard to keep them all locked down and now that they'd shared something as intimate as last night, he wondered if they'd ever be able to carry on as partners without becoming emotionally compromised if she ended up saying something he didn't like the sound of later that day.

Kensi hesitated before she knocked on the door. She'd come armed with take away Korean food and beer - it was her attempt at forming a truce with her partner. When Deeks opened the front door and welcomed her inside, he looked tired and disheveled.

Deeks gestured for her to sit on the couch and she faltered slightly as she remembered last night. It had started right there on that couch with one little innocent kiss after Deeks had told her what he really wanted. She swallowed, hoping that Deeks wouldn't notice her hesitation. She was here to try and put things right, not make them worse. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"I bought food and beer" she gestured cheerily, forcing a grin as she raised her arms in the air towards him, holding the items and waving them around like an excited child. Deeks smiled with gratitude, mostly at the sight of the beer - he hadn't really felt hungry all day. He'd had this knot in the pit of his stomach since he'd woken up alone this morning and he found that every time he tried to eat, his stomach made it clear that it was not going to happen.

"Ahah, food and beer - the best way to a man's heart!" he joked before immediately regretting it, grimacing as he plonked himself down next to her on the couch. _Why the hell did I say that?, _he inwardly scolded, feeling embarrassed at making such an inappropriate comment in such an inappropriate time. He was feeling nervous and the nerves were making him say stupid things that he couldn't take back. With a wry little laugh he reached out for the beer she was passing to him and quickly unscrewed the lid, taking a big swig of the ice cold liquid.

There was a moments silence before Kensi finally spoke. "I'm really sorry Deeks." she admitted. "I shouldn't have left this morning and I should have definitely left you a note. You must have spent the whole day really hating me." she continued, studying his face closely. Deeks visibly relaxed a little - his face softened and his shoulders slouched slightly as he allowed himself to sink further into the couch cushions. He knew now was the time where he was meant to say something. Something that would reassure her, let her know that even though he was hurting, he could never hate her, not in a million years. Just as he opened his mouth to speak however, Kensi seized the opportunity to lean forward and planted her lips softly on his.

The kiss was light; barely even a kiss at all. As suddenly as it had happened, she'd pulled away again. She kept her face inches from his, resting her forehead against his.

It was in this position that she stared down at the space between them and prepared to admit something she would never have dreamed of saying before she met Deeks. In a hushed, strangled whisper, she started to speak. She spoke slowly, her voice sounding alien to her as she recounted the words she'd been going over and over in her head all afternoon.

"It's just that." she paused, composing herself with a deep sigh and letting Deeks' hand gently wipe the tear that had rolled down her cheek away with his thumb. "It's just that, it's been a long time since I've felt like this and, well, I'm scared, Deeks."

A shaky laugh crossed with a sigh escaped Deeks. It was a sigh of relief, a sigh that meant he could sit here and comfort his partner. A sigh that meant there was a strong chance, if he played this well, that they could continue to be together in both a professional and personal manner.

Gently, Deeks nudged Kensi's chin up so that he could look deeply into her eyes. He bought his other hand up to cup her face and her hand flew to hold his touch in place.

"Wanna know a secret? I'm scared too. But Kensi, I've never been more sure of anything in my life." he admitted firmly.

He leaned in slowly, keeping the eye contact, hoping to convey every emotion he was feeling right now as he brushed his lips against hers once more. The kiss was just as light as the one Kensi had given him moments before, but this time they lingered there, focusing on the nerves and lightheadedness they were both feeling.

The newness of this experience made his mind boggle. When was the last time he had kissed someone like this and felt the electricity course through his body in this way? Had he actually ever felt like this before? He doubted it very much and deepened the kiss, which Kensi gratefully matched.

They'd kissed so much the night before - and in this very spot, no less. But it felt different today. Without the passion and the drive of pented up and unresolved sexual tension, their touches felt new, innocent, delicate. This was a feeling to be savoured, something that he wanted to lock away in his mind for years to come. She moaned softly as their lips parted once more and he held her gaze.

"Kens, just tell me what you want. Just say it, please. I need to hear you say the words out loud." Deeks pleaded, desperation creeping in against his will.

She looked up through her lashes into his big blue eyes and she knew that it was pointless to pretend anymore. There was too much between them to attempt to deny it, even for another day. She'd made up her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Definitely M rated, enjoy.**

"Deeks," she whispered, barely audible above their heavy breathing. "I want you, I want this, I want _us_. I've never been so sure of anything else in my life." she affirmed, smiling reassuringly. A giant grin spread across Deeks' face as he realised that everything he'd been thinking about for the last 5 years was finally happening.

"Are you sure? Like, are you sure you're sure? You're not going to wake up tomorrow and hate my guts?" he asked, half joking but definitely looking for a serious, honest answer to the question.

"I'm sure. Really, really sure, Deeks." she grinned as his puppy dog eyes lit up at her words. It was too late to run away now, she'd thrown herself right into the thick of it. After years of denying these feelings and refusing to allow herself to dwell too much on what could have been, she was finally ready to let him in.

"That's all I've wanted to hear for 5 years." He gushed and passionately returned their lips together. Kensi smiled into the kiss and let the feelings of anxiety slip away as she wound her fingers into Deeks' shaggy hair. She tugged slightly, trying to encourage the kiss to deepen more and was delighted when she instead elicited a gruff moan from him. Suddenly, just like last night, she felt hungry and insatiable.

She deepened their kiss, nipping gently at his lower lip and tugging slightly, pulling him closer towards her. There was a crinkle as the paper bags their take away came in were tossed from the space between them and Kensi smiled at Deeks' initiative. She let herself fall backwards on his couch and Deeks' body happily followed hers. They kissed passionately for a moment or two, before Deeks broke them apart and pushed his body up and away from hers. Now towering over her and holding himself up with his arms, he studied her face, looking for any hint of unease or worry. Instead of finding any, he was met with Kensi's wide smile and a mischievous twinkle glistening in her eyes.

Kesni took advantage of the space between them and collected the hem of Deeks' t-shirt in her hands, slowly pulling it up and over his head, revealing his toned body beneath. Deeks shrugged the t-shirt off one arm at a time and returned to his previous position, curious as to what she was planning to do next. Raking her fingers down Deeks' spine earned her a delicious shiver of anticipation and the appearance of tiny goosebumps surfacing on his biceps. With a bite of her lower lip, Kensi shuffled further down the couch, positioning herself so that her hands could more easily gain access to what they wanted.

Deeks watched her, mischief written all over her face, as she shuffled beneath him. He couldn't help but grin at the situation he'd found himself in. He got to see Kensi, the cheeky little minx that she was, and no one else on the planet got to see what he was looking at right now. That definitely made him the luckiest man alive. He couldn't think of anything that would be sexier than watching Kensi Blye wriggle beneath him, biting her lip seductively and look up at him through those thick lashes. That was, however, until he felt her deftly loosen the belt buckle around his waist - the one that was helping to contain his rapidly growing arousal.

"Okay, okay. Wow there, Nelly. Not so fast, eh?" said Deeks, slightly louder than he intended as he scurried into a more upright position. He'd waited for this moment for a long time and he was determined to savour it. Of course, this wouldn't be the first time they'd have had sex, but it would be the first time they'd _make love_...or at least as close as the two of them could emotionally manage right now.

He grinned and stood up, reaching his hand out for Kensi. "M'lady." he spoke in an awful fake British accent and bowed slightly as she accepted his gesture. Kensi giggled and stood with him. "Is Medieval England the theme for today or something?" she asked, laughing while taking his hand and leading him down the corridor to his bedroom.

Deeks followed obediently and walked into the bedroom first. Kensi closed the door behind her and lent back on it, studying Deeks' topless body. She smirked and Deeks flashed his trademark grin in her direction.

"Come on, tiger - let's get you out of the rest of those clothes." purred Kensi.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Kensi lurched forward, hungry to see the rest of Deeks' muscular body and feel the heat of his skin on hers once more. Her hands quickly got to work pulling his belt free from his jeans and undoing the one button that was denying her access to what she wanted most right now. Sliding a hand down slowly into his boxers, she snaked the other into his hair. Kensi studied his face closely and grinned triumphantly when he threw his head back and let out a strangled moan, eyes closed tightly as he focused on the sweet sensation. He was already hard, his erection was straining against the remaining material and when she withdrew her hand from his boxers he let out a tiny whimper.

She gripped both the waistband of his jeans and boxers together and teasingly began to pull them down his legs. She lowered herself with them and when his cock sprang free from it's constraints, she found herself face to face with it. Grinning at the sight of how turned on he was, she looked up at Deeks and caught the look of awe plastered across his face. He watched wide eyed as she planted a soft kiss on the end of his penis before gliding her tongue from the base to the tip and swirling it suggestively around his head. He swallowed and let out a shaky breath as she took him in her mouth, sucking gently and easing her way down his shaft, holding his hips steady.

Although he was very, _very_ much enjoying the sensation of his cock being sucked and teased by Kensi Blye's magnificent mouth, Deeks couldn't help but feel she was a little overdressed for the occasion. His hands found their way into her long brunette locks and guided her for another few strokes before gently lifting her chin and pulling her away. She looked up at him with mock sadness and a pout that would make even the grumpiest of men melt. He chuckled, shaking his head slightly at her uncanny ability to make him think about doing dirty, dirty things to that beautiful angelic face of hers.

He offered her his hand and pulled her onto her feet before tugging his boxers back up and discarding his jeans completely. Kensi gave him a sloppy kiss and Deeks could taste his precum on her lips. With a low growl he spun her around and walked her swiftly backwards. Her knees buckled as they bumped the edge of the bed and Deeks playfully pushed her back.

He crawled up the bed and began planting kisses along her jawline and neck. She stretched, allowing him more access to the sensitive skin and sharply inhaled when he took the flesh of her ear lobe between his teeth. He planted one final open mouthed kiss on the base of her throat before scooting down the bed, bypassing her torso completely. Kensi hoisted herself up on the back of her elbows to get a better view of her partner. He was breathing hotly onto the skin above her waistband and his mouth was tantalising close to where the fire inside her was building. Another low growl escaped from Deeks' throat and it was clear that his resolve for teasing was wearing thin. He wanted to taste her and he wanted to taste her now.

He hastily undid the button on Kensi's jeans and pulled the offending clothing off in one fell swoop. Her white underwear gave away the state of her arousal as the damp patch clung to her skin. He kissed her hard over the thin cotton fabric and the stubble from his facial hair sent sparks jolting through her entire body. She was breathing heavily in anticipation as Deeks pulled her underwear down, sliding them over her slender legs and throwing them across the room. He turned back to face her and grinned. Their eyes locked as he lowered himself down and planted one more gentle kiss before putting his tongue to good use.

Kensi whimpered and thrust her hips upwards, gaining a brief second of extra friction before Deeks firmly held them back down. "Patience, Kensilina." tutted Deeks with a heavy drawl before burying his face between her thighs once more, his tongue licking teasingly at her clit. He was consumed by the desire to make sure she knew she'd made the right decision. To prove to her that he was worth every struggle they'd faced so far. Now that passion was coursing through his veins it seemed irrational to worry, but hearing her scream his name a few times would definitely cement the idea and make him feel much better.

His tongue licked and lapped and his teeth nipped and nibbled, earning him moans of pure bliss. He was working hard to keep Kensi from greedily thrusting up into his face while he carried on torturing his partner in the best possible way. He revelled in hearing her moan and watching her throw her head back in pleasure. He really was enjoying himself far too much, making her move like this with just his tongue. It was like he was put on this earth to make her writhe and squirm in the best possible way and he was, thankfully, up to the task.

"Deeks." she panted. "Deeks, please!" Her begging tone was enough to spark the animalistic longing inside him and he skillfully set to work, making his partner moan even louder in ecstasy. He picked up speed, sliding two fingers easily inside her. He allowed her to buck her hips and fuck his face and fingers, relishing in how undone she was becoming.

After a few moments Kensi's rhythm started to falter and when she came, she screamed Deeks' name so loud he was sure the neighbours would have heard. He felt the gush of her juices and the tightening of her muscles and, as her body eventually stilled, he slowed to let her ride the orgasm out. As she relaxed, he slowly withdrew he listened to her pant his name between deep, shaky intakes of breath.

"You alright there, baby?" teased Deeks with a smirk. He used the back of his hand to wipe his face and crawled up her body once more, placing delicate kisses on the skin that had become freshly exposed thanks Kensi's shirt riding up. He reached her face and groaned as Kensi kissed him passionately, tasting herself on him.

"Mmmhmm" Replied Kensi wistfully.

"Good." Replied Deeks. "There's just one problem though."

"What?" panicked Kensi, worry contorting her beautiful features.

Deeks chuckled at her vulnerability; it was something he very rarely saw and definitely never quite to this extent.

"You're still wearing too many clothes…" he trailed off and grinned as she reached up to punch him playfully.

"You're such a dick!" she complained.

"Hmm, speaking off - you ready for more yet?" he smirked and pulled her up to straddle his lap.

They were only just getting started. Deeks really was intending to make the most of his evening alone with _his _Kensi.


End file.
